Get Into The Groove
What’s even more important than a hot position in the bedroom? A steady beat, baby! Learn the tempo technique that will have you hitting a high note every time.
Whether your partner is a brand-new mate or so familiar you could sketch his nether regions from memory, you want to establish one crucial thing during sex: a flow that can get you both off. New research shows that rhythmic stimulation—aka hitting the same spots at a consistent speed and pace—can heighten your senses and focus during the deed. You know that trance like state you fall into while dancing or doing yoga? Like that. Except, in this case, it is totally erotic and can culminate in your biggest climax yet. Grab your guy and start perfecting your sexual timing with these expert pointers.
Sync Your Libidos
To find bedroom synchronicity, you’ll first have to choose a good time. For men, testosterone builds up overnight—which is why they’re usually all about a.m. sex, says Alisa Vitti, a functional nutritionist and founder of the virtual hormone health center FloLiving.com. Women’s hormones, on the other hand, fluctuate within our menstrual cycles. On the days you’re ovulating, estrogen and testosterone are at peak levels, fueling your desire and downthere lubrication, says Vitti, so that’s the optimal time to be on the same libidinous page as your man. At other moments, compromise is key. Try having sex on a stroll-in-late-to-work weekday morning when you have the energy to put something besides a bagel inside you. The next day, do it after work, and set the scene right when you get home, suggests sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD. “Light some candles and have a glass of wine.”
A little flirting also goes a long way. “My husband is “Let’s have sex after we get in bed’ person” says Gaby, 26 from Toronto, Ontario. She helps him get on her earlier horny schedule by warming him up during dinner. “I’ll kiss him while he’s washing dished or bend over a lot while I’m cooking” she says. Over time, such small, suggestive moves can help line up your sec drives.
Match Your Breathing
Focusing on your breath keeps you connected to and in control of your body. In the same way, dovetailing your airflow patterns with your dude’s can help you naturally regulate the pace of your romps. Start in a tight position, like spooning, where you can easily coordinate breaths, then have him thrust to the speed of your inhales and exhales, suggests Richmond. If he breaks that pace and starts wildly jackhammering (hello, darkness, my old friend), reach back and grab his hips to direct him. Staying in stride is the trick to crossing the finish line at the same time. Need an assist? Stimulate your clitoris to the same beat. “I’ll get in cowgirl and touch myself as my boyfriend moves inside me,” says Laura 27, from Etobicoke. It always sends me over the edge.”
Add More Rhythm
Picture pushing someone on a swing for a long time. After a while, the movement becomes so automatic, you kinda lose your sense of awareness and just focus on the push-push-push, right? Well, the same repeated back-and-forth during sex is what leads to that euphoric state that moves all other thoughts out of your mind. making it easier to orgasm. Listening to music can help you nail this swing method because you can time your thrusts and beats. Plus women ranked good tunes as arousing as hearing X-rated moaning or visualizing fantasy scenarios, per one study. Other research shows that rhythm of a sexy song can help keep your mind in the moment.